A still of gradient blooms
Filters tranquility stream of tunes
Listen for me
I hear of you
Cemented silhouettes still solicit you
Solid drips enhance the grains
Slipped through solutions
This filter can't purify you
Cheek smothered on the cold yet stable reflection of your distance
Sound pollution comes from the roots of in denial
Clear the air with excuses
Consistent dials
Drove consumerism The Occupational sin
Stopped.
After I closed the car door.
- When I first started writing this piece I was at LTAB having writers block. I came from a period of time where I stopped writing until boom I got hit with the power of writing. We were given the task to write about our mom when I looped into a broken record memory. This memory is in the past present and likely to continue in the future. When writing this piece I tried so hard to bring back myself back to those senses and paint a picture my subconscious already made. I hated this poem because of the cheesy ongoing rhyme. I'm very nit picky with the flow I tend to use and the words I use, It bugged me to even call this a draft. I used very short phrases that lead a lot to the imagination. I noticed there was a consistent theme of feel. Specifically how your sense of touch puts emotions in objects to paint the tone of what that memory was like. My intention was to describe a memory without getting to know the character I'm taking about. I wanted to create a scene where I use the surroundings to let the reader know what was emotionally happening. Day 2: Caterpillar Stage
Exploring the garden: Does your poem/story sound like the beginning of a much larger piece? Pick up where you left off & write the next part. Aim for at least 5 new lines.
A still of gradient blooms
Filters tranquility stream of tunes
Listen for me
I hear of you
Cemented silhouettes still solicit you
the root traveled without hydration
sweaty palms of a mother
nurtures her child's clogged pores
Solid drips enhanced the grains
she knew she caused a breakage
sweat was the dry tears she flaked
sweat was the dry tears she flaked
Slipped through solutions
This filter can't purify you
Cheek smothered on the cold yet stable reflection of your distance
the more I squint my eyes unto the window
Sound pollution comes from the roots of in denial
Clear the air with excuses
Consistent dials
Drove consumerism The Occupational sin
Stopped.
after the car door was closed.
On this step my partner revised over my poem in order to progress on my piece.
1. Are there any grammar/spelling mistakes? Make a note directly on their work and/or provide suggestions on how they can fix their mistakes below:
No mistakes.
2. What themes do you notice in their piece? Quote at least 1 line that seems to exemplify this theme:
Mother/child Relationship "sweaty palms of a mother nurtures her child's clogged pores "
3. Do you notice any patterns (such as recurring words, imagery or sentence structures)?
"Sweat" "Cemented silhouettes still solicit you the root traveled without hydration" - imagery
"Drove consumerism The Occupational sin
Stopped.
after the car door was closed." - spacious structure
4. Do you have any questions about this piece? List them below
How does the ending solidify the poem? "Slipped through solutions" implies what? Is someone reflecting on a topic as they stare out a car window? What is the story within this piece?
5. Make 2 suggestions for your partner’s piece:
"Solid drips enhanced the grains" Drips of what?
"Sound pollution comes from the roots of in denial"- Make in denial capitalized like In Denial or
with quotations
Day 4: Fly
Slipped through solutions
This filter can't purify you
Cheek smothered on the cold yet stable reflection of your distance
Sound pollution comes from the roots of in Denial
Clear the air with excuses
Consistent dials
Drove consumerism The Occupational sin
after the car door was closed.
A still of gradient blooms
Filters tranquility stream of tunes
Listen for me
I hear of you
Cemented silhouettes still solicit you
the root traveled without hydration
sweaty palms of a mother
nurtures her child's clogged pores
nurtures her child's clogged pores
Solid drips enhanced the grains of the her child
she knew she caused a breakage
she knew she caused a breakage
sweat was the dry tears she flaked
This filter can't purify you
Cheek smothered on the cold yet stable reflection of your distance
the more I squint my eyes unto the window
Clear the air with excuses
Consistent dials
Drove consumerism The Occupational sin
Stopped.
after the car door was closed.
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